Saturday, December 25, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
These are the things you do not think about before deciding to move in with someone. So beware, young lovers. Beware! Don't start me on his recent hobby of pooping with the door open. (Yes, I know, Chin-Hwa, my conversation is enticing, but can't it wait?!)
Monday, November 22, 2010
I don't mean to brag, and I'm probably actually risking something by admitting that I watch such poopy television series religiously, but I think I could do relatively well on the show "America's Next Top Model." Now, I never would go on the show due to my thoughts regarding modeling and body image as well as my ideas about how young women should be spending their time (stop doing fashion research! How is that a hobby?!) but what I couldn't do would be put up with Tyra's serious ego trips. Please note the video link below, and then ask yourself, who does that? And then ask, who writes a blog about that? This girl, that's who!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The G20 Summit will happen in Seoul this Thursday and Friday. What is the G20 summit? Based on my quick research (I Googled it once...that counts, right?) I have discovered that leaders from the most influential economic markets across the world will gather together to discuss problems and solutions facing the world economy. Even Barack Obama is coming. You are probably falling asleep at the mere mention of such a dry meeting, but I assure you that it will not be boring due to the thousands of protesters that have started to gather all across the country. I don't know what exactly they are protesting, but they are loud and well organized, which is not surprising after witnessing how well Koreans can cheer together during a baseball game.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
I Go to the Zoo
I go to the zoo in the morning. Because I want to see animals. I see a lion and an alligator. The lion is smiling at me. The alligator is swimming and the alligator is very scary. It has sharp teeth. I go home.
***If you're not scared, maybe you don't get it. I sure didn't. But a good try.
Girl and Mean Doll
There is a grandfather, a girl, and a doll in the house. It is the girl's birthday, so grandfater gives her a doll. Sometimes the doll is mean, and the doll looks like eyes are green, nails are long, and hair is brown color. When the doll is nice, her face is like a doll, her eyes are blue color, and hair is orange color. In the night, the doll walks and sits on the stairs two times. The girl comes to put the doll back on the bed but the doll takes a knife and kills the girl. Then, the doll walks to Sunnyside play room and the other toys are happy. Many children come to Sunnyside play room and the doll kills every child so it is the only doll in the country.
*Why are dolls so darn creepy? Really? Amy also drew a really disturbing picture to accompany her story, but I'll spare you so you can sleep tonight.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Something magical has happened, if you'll be kind enough to forgive the upcoming pun which you would have to in order to continue reading... I have successfully merged my love for Harry Potter into my everyday life. Nooo, this is more than when I wore the shirt or experimented with Quidditch in Berkeley.
I started teaching Harry Potter in one of my classes. This might not seem like a big deal, but what this means is I am going to be paid moolah to talk HP (a real fan doesn't have to spell it out)for an hour a week. The student who is lucky enough to enjoy my rantings about the upcoming Triwizard tournament is lucky John Kim. (There was supposed to be one more student, but he dropped out of the academy right before I began the lessons. He probably couldn't handle the sheer excitement of me practicing spells) He told me he has read HP three times in Korean and one time in English. To test his level of fandom, I asked him if he knew the spells. I hid my judgement when he said no.
We have read the first three chapters and the possibities are endless. I'm thinking field trip to the movies, field trip to the HP theme park, pretending we are robbing Gringotts, bringing Jenna and Katie in as guest speakers, etc. I have already bored, I mean, enlightened, John with my theories regarding Mrs. Figg. He is in for a series of treats. Chin-Hwa, however, is less than excited for me. He still remembers when we first started dating and HP 7 came out. I went to Borders to pick it up. He came there a few hours later, hoping to see his lovely boo. I told him that I had a previous commitment to read HP all night at Katie's aunt's house. He didn't believe me at first, and it wasn't until I told him I was choosing HP over him that he got the hint.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
OK, I had some days I was pretty rotten. (Nickie was rotten more days than me, but that's neither here nor there.) When I was being particularly poopy, one of my mom's favorite things to do was to grab me and give me a huge hug while saying, "Why are you so crabby wabby?" I never understood this tactic at that age. I know now that this was probably very cathartic for her, but this comment was sure to insence younger me. I would scream, "I'M NOT CRABBY WABBY!" which just didn't help my case.
Mom had me. I could either choose to deny her accusation vehemently and further my trip into crabby land or I could not deny it, thereby furthering my trip up crabby mountain. I still don't know a proper response to that one...it's a conundrum I'll have to propose to my philosopically minded friends who will probably enjoy spending entire weekends devoted to this one question.
Why do I bring this up? Well, the other day, when Chin-Hwa was going on and on about some stupid...ahem, entirely meaningful, thing that happened to him that day, I (really! true story!) asked him why he was so crabby wabby. I said it. It was fast; it was natural; it came out of my own two lips. This phrase from my childhood reemerged. I was mortified.
I don't know if Chin-Hwa even realized that I said such an adorably annoying phrase such as "crabby wabby." I, however, heard it as if it was slow motion. And I will admit that it made me feel a little better...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
We need to talk. I've been married for a while now and I'm starting to figure out how to do conflict better. I can no longer ignore something that has been eating away at me since the day I arrived (such as a certain someone's infatuation with tennis raquets, cough cough). Bottling up feelings is unhealthy and I can't be controlled by them. I'm a strong, independent woman, dammit, and you're about to get a piece of my mind. You've been getting off too easy. Plus, this is all really your fault and I'm always right so you need to just sit down and listen.
Please, for the love of GOD and everything holy, have someone proofread your use of the English language.
Some people think your little phrases are adorable. I, however, am insenced. What set me off on this particular rampage was that I saw a national ad campaign for a pastry shop that advertised its "3th anniversary." While I understand that the ins and outs of ordinal numbers can be quite confusing, (why do we need those little mini-letters anyways? What did we do before Word autocorrected them for us?) anyone with a fluent knowledge of English could have picked up on that mistake. Heck, even some of my eight year olds would have told you that was wrong. I mean, I'm not calling you stupid, I'm just saying you're really dumb. And now you have gone and printed it. No, worse than that--you have printed it and then distributed it to your national chain of pastry shops.
And you know what makes it even worse? I know I am probably the only person to have noticed this. Well, and Chin-Hwa, who has to listen to me talk about these things at home.
I know I should have said something earlier. On my first day in the apartment, which was BRAND NEW, I was in the parking garage and saw something appalling. It wasn't a Hummer H3 and it wasn't roadkill. It was the fact that someone had painted the word "ENTERANCE" on countless pillars and poles. I laughed it off at the time and talked to my friends about it, but I should have put my foot down. Now the problem has just festered. I now realize the error of my ways, which are few, and the much larger missteps on your end.
Please respond accordingly,
Your friend, but nearly foe,
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I have a few things I will check on once I'm back:
1. Does the flag still have fifty stars? Or did Puerto Rico finally sneak in?
2. Does freedom still reign superior?
3. Is Wendy still afraid of thunderstorms?
4. Are refried beans truly a gift from the heavens?
5. Does Nickie still look like me?
6. Is Grandma's strawberry rhubarb jam still the jam?
7. Does David have facial hair?
8. Did Dad repaint the house again?
9. Does Mom still love free concerts?
10. If I make puppy chow, will Emily Kroenke sense it from afar and come to me?
If you would like to help me complete these missions, let me know. I will need some backup.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
My family always did road trips when I was growing up. We would go and buy sufficient amounts of candy, and Dad could pack anything into the trunk. Mom was in charge of music and always had good tunes. Our only problem was that we had a Toyota sedan. So David, Nickie, and I crammed into the back seat. Nickie and I always pulled rank and made David sit in the middle.
David was always a perfect angel as a child crammed into a small space for multiple hours...no. What child could be? I mean, even I, a child who was perfect almost all of the time, would get antsy on drives to Chicago. He was okay until his Gameboy battery ran out. After that, it was time for his imagination to run wild. And his young brain always decided upon one explicit goal: "I must annoy Jackie."
David would literally poke me for hours. I always tried to ignore it and stay engrossed in my Babysitter's Club book, but he was so darn persistent. He would poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, all while quietly giggling...now, a girl can only be so patient. After a few hours of this (or maybe a few minutes. You know how I tend to exaggerate) I knew I had to take action. Everyone has a breaking point. David found mine. So I threw him an elbow right in the sternum. David doubled over and moaned a pathetic moan. I tried to look innocent and explain my inner motivations.
You'll never guess who was punished.
It made perfect sense at the time. Now, I realize the error of my ways. No matter how gently one tries to elbow, it always hurts. There's no way to soften that blow.
The thing that was most frustrating during all of this was not that David was bothering me, it was that he was bothering me exclusively. He was sitting in between two sisters, both easily annoyed, and yet he focused his powers of irritation on me. Why, smaller David, why?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
That was the old me.
I know that you might be hoping that I delve into a discussion about the subtle strategy of baseball and the beautiful simplicity....wait. No one would ever want that (except Uncle Bob, but I'll leave that to him...not saying your boring, but, uh, cough...yeah) I'm coming at you with something far more entertaining: large coordinated cheers.
Koreans have evolved far beyond the wave, and their number one accessory is the thunderstick. The crowd isn't just cheering for your run of the mill homerun, no sir-ee. They cheer for every at bat, every strike, every ball.*
The thundersticks are powerful. I wanted some...and for the cost of about $1.60, I had them. Unfortunately, I couldn't also purchase a working knowledge of Korean and a side of rhythm. After my single experience of a Korean baseball game, I have reached the unquestionable conclusion that the effective use of thundersticks requires the skills of what is known in the business as a "triple threat." One must be able to sing, dance, and act. Slapping two half full inflatables was not quite enough to cut it. I did do enough to earn a team spirit award though, seeing as I managed to make it though a few innings without inadvertenly smacking someone in the face.
*Chin-Hwa has just informed me that Americans cheer for everything, too, but I must have blocked this from my memories of baseball games of yesteryear. I usually block EXTREMELY BORING things, and baseball would be among them.*
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Until last week.
The story: I was hit with two huge zits at once. One was on my forehead and the other one was on my cheek. They were red, swollen, and disgusting. They actually hurt. These things were intense.
I forgot about these two beauties until I got to school. Over the course of one day, I had no less than twenty students staring at the blemishes, four students gasping at the sheer magnitude of the zits, and three brave students ask me, "Ms. Jackie! What happened to your face?" Thanks, kids. I'm so glad I'm teaching you enough English for you to manage to ask me embarrasing questions. For the younger students, I told them I "hurt" my face. I didn't want to go into a vocabulary lesson regarding clogged pores, and I figured a tinge of shame might serve them right. (What's that, Jasmine? You want to know what happened to my face? Well its a horrible story and now I'm injured. Are you glad you asked? Huh? Are you???) For the older kids, I told them they were pimples. I even translated "pimple" into Korean so they could know exactly what I was talking about. After all, I'm supposed to be teaching them so I might as well turn my face into a lesson plan.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tonight, that is the only explanation that I can reach after watching her video for the second time. (http://www.ladygaga.com/telephone/)
If you haven't seen this video, then you have to go look it up. Why? Because it will make your brain spin. Lady Gaga is either crazy, a genius, or both. I'm not always on board with the latest pop crazes (I never gave in to the NSync craze of yesteryear and I haven't heard anything on the radio for over six months), but this one caught me. Lady Gaga is already quite a character and now that she's teamed up with Beyonce, I think they might be planning on taking over the world. I'm not so sure I would mind that. Dance breaks for everbody!
One of the parts of the video that really stuck out to me was the fact that Lady Gaga utilized the classic "my hand is my phone" schtick and made into a hip new dance fad. I only use the thumb-pinkie hand phone when I'm making fun of Jersey Shore, but now that it's cool, I'll be motioning for people to "call me" all the time.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Anyhoo, the hotel was unlike American hotels. For one, the building had a large Statue of Liberty affixed to the top. (I regret that I was unable to snap a photo of this.) It was as cheesy as you can imagine--trust me. The hotel room was, well, colorful and seedy, all at once. It was a strange mixture of luxurious and disgusting. Luxury items included a heated toilet seat and bed. Even more importantly, the room had its own karaoke system. We could not figure out how to work it properly, but we both sang into the mic just for kicks.
The disgusting part for me was the fact that all of the lotions, shampoos, conditioners, and even toothpastes were in economy-sized containers and had already been opened and used by other customers. They were veritable germ factories. Therefore, I avoided those products like the plague.
Look through the photos to get a better picture of the place:
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Imagine having forty toddler to school age children and taking them to a glorified McDonald's indoor play area. Then, throw in good food, coffee, and beer. What you get is the Little Prince Kids Cafe.
I had the joy of experiencing this cafe on Friday, when my boss and I took 30 students there for a Flea Market party. The kids went crazy. They screamed as they went into the ball pit. They screamed as they went on the merry-go-round. They screamed as they purchased sugary drinks from the counter. And, they screamed as they pounded their candy. It was deafening and exhilarating all at once. If I had been 8 years old, I would be in little Jackie heaven. But as a 26 year old Jackie, I was strengthened in my resolve to wait a few more years before having a bundle of joy myself.
The best part of it all was imagining a group of mothers taking their kids to this cafe and letting the happy Little Prince workers watch their kids as they took in a few brews. (It reminded me of our parents poker games of yesteryear.) If I were a mother, I would relish in the chance to sit and chat while the kids went haywire. Nickie and I could catch up and drink while the kids bond and drool and consume mass quantities of sugar. Sounds like a plan!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Today I traveled south to Yongsan to see Stephanie Houston. (Mercy Monarchs...flutter flutter 4 EVA) We had a very enjoyable evening, which almost made up for what had happened earlier in the day...
I was making a transfer at one of the subway stations and I had what one might call a bathroom emergency. (I have a lot of bathroom emergencies for being a twenty-six year old, but that's for another day and an extremely bored audience.) I really, really had to go. I saw a sign that said restrooms were 90 meters away, and although I had no idea what distance that was, I hoped it was close. I made my way there only to find that there was only one regular toilet and it was taken.
Now, let me clarify. There were many available stalls, but all of them were labeled with a sign that did not look like a toilet (see below). It looked like a bidet. I now know that it was a "squat toilet." However, I had never ventured into one of these bathrooms due to my fear of the unknown, so I could only assume they were the mystical toilets that Chin-Hwa had told me about.
I was desperate, so I entered one of the open stalls. (I figured it was a better choice than peeing my pants or crawling under the occupied door of the regular toilet. You be the judge.) The toilet was closer to a hole in the ground that was surrounded by porcelain so it would not look like a hole in the ground. It looked like a toilet bowl that was laid into the floor. It had water and could be flushed and everything. Needless to say, I didn't have time to dwell on the particulars. I had to go. I unzipped, crouched down, and let it fly.
The details aren't important. I'll just say that it was embarrassing and required more clean up than I had hoped. I am not not proud, but I can say that I will indeed try again. After I ask Chin-Hwa for some directions.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Meeting Chin-Hwa's family is always awkward for me. I can't communicate with them, my chopstick usage is faulty at best, and I have a really hard time sitting on the floor for long meals. Chin-Hwa's cousin's kids Eun-Bin and Ji-Bin were very excited to see me (duh!) and quickly began to make fun of Chin-Hwa's accent, which is one of their favorite pastimes. Ji-Bin asked me many questions, none of which I understood but she was persistent, and even sat on my lap and tried to see if I would give her my necklace. Please keep in mind that Ji-Bin is the same girl who infamously asked for my beloved Hello Kitty phone bauble, which Chin-Hwa freely offered to her because she cried (he's such a wimp). I told her she could not have my necklace because it was a gift from my grandma. She saw this as an acceptable excuse, and proceeded to giggle as I tried to eat my kimchi.
Chin-Hwa's family were very nice and polite, and I took some pictures with them to share. They gave Chin-Hwa trouble for not having taught me Korean yet and smiled and nodded as I asked them questions through Chin-Hwa. Overall, it was a very enjoyable holiday and one I hope I'll be able to celebrate again.
Please enjoy the picture album below if you want to see a bunch of Koreans and me:
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Although I have not had a television with cable for the last few years, my fascination with trashy reality television has only worsened.
There was something about watching Tila Tequila's Shot at Love (and part two...I'm not too ashamed to admit that I, too, wanted to know if she would find love the second time around) or the more recent Jersey Shore that makes me feel so intrigued. I spend the hour judging the actions of the participants on these shows (Ronnie! Don't punch him!), whilst I sit, covered in thousands of tiny, sharp pieces of skittles that missed my mouth and using my toe to move the mouse so I don't have to get up.
Chin-Hwa likes to make disparaging remarks about my television choices, as if his YouTube binges consisting of 80s and 90s hits are far superior (Toto? Really?), but even he can't quite look away in the middle of The Bachelor. I could say that I watched it to see the beautiful and familiar scenery of San Francisco, but really I just wanted to know if Ali would finally slap Vienna or not.
I've heard that people can make a living doing cultural studies. I want in on this mythical cash cow. I want to be featured on Bravo, analyzing the upcoming season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Maybe I'll even try out for the 50th season of Survivor and pretend to be the dumb blonde who later reveals that she has a Nobel prize...oh, I'm dreaming big, people. And it's all centered around t.v.
Until then, I'll waste far too much time gaping at others' life choices and pretending like I know enough about fashion to tell who's going to make it on America's Next Top Model or Project Runway.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Let me contrast this with my eight year old self. When I was little, I had no idea where I lived. I would get lost on long walks. Whenever Mom or Dad was driving, I was in the backseat reading a book (usually Baby Sitters Club. Those were real page turners). I didn't know what Dodge street was, and whenever I was asked to give directions, I just told them to call Mom or Dad. If someone had told me to try to take a bus home, I would have ended up in Council Bluffs, Iowa, a fate I do not wish upon anyone, least of all my younger, confused self.
Also, almost all of my students have a cell phone. The only person who calls them is their mom, but still. I got my first cell phone when I was 16. Nickie and I had to share it and it didn't even have caller id. The main person who called us was Mom, so in that way, we weren't all that different from my students...
These kids are so hardworking! They have such nimble, small hands! They learn so quickly! No wonder child labor is such a difficult concept to shake. I'm not interviewing for the new Nike PR spot (Child Labor! Discipline! Strength! All before the age of 10!) I'm just forever amazed at the ingenuity of children around me.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I dreamt I was in a caravan of cars full of people, none of whom I knew except Nickie. Nickie was driving, but I knew all of the directions. (that would never, ever happen in real life. Really. I get lost in the hallway right outside of my apartment door) We were in a large red suburban. The car was full. (which reminded me of our old family road trips in the Toyota sedan, where David would poke me repeatedly while being very obvious that he was treating Nickie like gold) I looked out of the right-hand window to see a giant corn cob shaped sign proclaiming "RUNZA." I asked Nickie to stop so we could get some wonderful, dough-covered, onion-filled, German-inspired treats. She refused, and we kept driving. I woke up in a cold sweat immediately following her denial.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Whenever I would ask someone about Korean winters, (which was frequent, I assure you. I had to know what I'm dealing with here. No one warned me about Californian winters, and I lived in agony.) everyone talked about how cold it would get. No one mentioned any snow. In fact, they said it probably wouldn't snow. And I trusted them.
And now Korea's been hit by the biggest blizzard in almost a century. It all started on Monday morning. The snow fell in huge snowflakes. It was wet, fluffy, and cold, like most snows. (You never know what to expect in a foreign land! Snow could be backwards here, you know, like lava or something. Use your imagination.) When I left the apartment to go to work, there were almost no cars on the road. This is unheard of. It was almost eerie, to walk outside and not have to wait for the walk signal and then have to look again because most cars ignore the walk signal. There were no plows. No salt trucks. Nothing. The only group of people I saw were a bunch of old women who were shoveling the walkways of the apartment.
I walked to the subway station because I knew that if nothing else, it would still be in operation. The subway station was packed, and the train was even fuller. I had the same idea as every other person who had to work.
Here are some pictures of the snow, from one weather-obsessed Midwesterner to another:
If you click on the slide show, it will bring you to my photo website where you can leave comments and see bigger pictures! Who could resist?