An open letter

Dear Republic of Korea,

We need to talk. I've been married for a while now and I'm starting to figure out how to do conflict better. I can no longer ignore something that has been eating away at me since the day I arrived (such as a certain someone's infatuation with tennis raquets, cough cough). Bottling up feelings is unhealthy and I can't be controlled by them. I'm a strong, independent woman, dammit, and you're about to get a piece of my mind. You've been getting off too easy. Plus, this is all really your fault and I'm always right so you need to just sit down and listen.

Please, for the love of GOD and everything holy, have someone proofread your use of the English language.

Some people think your little phrases are adorable. I, however, am insenced. What set me off on this particular rampage was that I saw a national ad campaign for a pastry shop that advertised its "3th anniversary." While I understand that the ins and outs of ordinal numbers can be quite confusing, (why do we need those little mini-letters anyways? What did we do before Word autocorrected them for us?) anyone with a fluent knowledge of English could have picked up on that mistake. Heck, even some of my eight year olds would have told you that was wrong. I mean, I'm not calling you stupid, I'm just saying you're really dumb. And now you have gone and printed it. No, worse than that--you have printed it and then distributed it to your national chain of pastry shops.

And you know what makes it even worse? I know I am probably the only person to have noticed this. Well, and Chin-Hwa, who has to listen to me talk about these things at home.

I know I should have said something earlier. On my first day in the apartment, which was BRAND NEW, I was in the parking garage and saw something appalling. It wasn't a Hummer H3 and it wasn't roadkill. It was the fact that someone had painted the word "ENTERANCE" on countless pillars and poles. I laughed it off at the time and talked to my friends about it, but I should have put my foot down. Now the problem has just festered. I now realize the error of my ways, which are few, and the much larger missteps on your end.

Please respond accordingly,
Your friend, but nearly foe,
Jackie