I want whatever they are selling...

Commercials in Korea are mesmorizing. I can't look away. Marketing in Korea is all about fun fun fun! Even though I can't understand the words in the commercials, I end up wanting whatever they are selling. Case in point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohvmNwlS08c

If you've ever tried Soju, a Korean rice liquor that they are selling in this ad, you would know that it's harsh, rubbing alcohol like taste is hard to stomach. However, after watching this commercial, your mind will change! It might taste like unicorns! It doesn't matter! Just buy some!

A note: Almost all Korean commercials feature actors and actresses who are already really famous. Therefore, you can start to recognize the same faces everywhere you go. Hyori Lee, the main woman in this commercial, can be seen on posters, in coffee shops, and on countless other television ads.

Driving in Korea

I've been driving here in Korea since last September. It took me a while to adjust to the new driving etiquette. To the faint of heart, driving in Korea may feel like a random mix of speeding and ignoring lights. However, there are subtle rules...

1. If a light is red, it is merely a suggestion. This is particularly true if you are a taxi, it's early in the morning, or you are rushing to pick up some ice cream from the store. Also, if you're a taxi, you can just flash your brights to signal that you've got places to go and thus won't be stopping or slowing for the light.

2. If you cut someone off, which all drivers in Korea are wont to do, you may choose to flash your hazards for a few seconds. This is like saying, "Oopsie. Sorry I'm a jerk. Please accept my lame apology as I slow down in front of you after cutting you off."

3. If you are upset at another driver, either for something they did to you or for no specific reason at all, you may choose to flash your brights. Why? To frustrate the other driver. It works.

4. All cars, even the nicest of the newest import vehicles, have little cushions on the outside of their doors. These cushions look cheesy, but they serve the all important purpose of protecting your door from the various obstacles which may get in your way in tiny parking lots. ***For help understanding this idea which I find extremely difficult to describe at this particular moment, see the edited photo below:

5. No parking? No problem! Just pull into the right hand lane, intended originally for thru traffic, and park! Don't forget to turn on your hazards so all the people forced to change lanes so you might run in for a quick errand will feel happy that you at least feel some small semblance of remorse.

6. Should you see a police car, drive in your normal way. There's no need to slow down or follow any rules more closely than before. Why? Because the police have better things to do!

7. Never ever go into the pedestrian walk way during their green light. This may sound logical, but it feels slightly counterintuitive. Pedestrians only have about ten seconds of freedom near the roadways, during which they can be assured that they need not fear for their lives. The rest of the time, pedestrians must be ever vigilant because cars will NOT stop for them, even if the pedestrians are wielding a double stroller or riding in a wheelchair.

8. It is customary to back into your parking spots. This is so you can show off your mad skills. However, after a long empirical study (involving one failed attempt to back into a space), I have decided that backing in takes longer than just pulling into the spot and backing out later.

House Pants

Today, a harrowing look into the life and times of my house pants. The inspiration for this post came during a recent feverish sickness, so that might explain the strangeness...

What are house pants, a.k.a. cookie pants? They are the kind of pants you only wear in the house. They usually have some major flaw which forces your sense of decency to prevent you from wearing them anywhere but in the comfort of your own home. But their comfort level is irresistible when one's only plan is to lounge about. In rare instances, house pants have been allowed outdoors: early college classes, short late night errands, any all girls school dress down days, and the like. House pants are never allowed outside if you are a Korean woman, who must

have a much higher threshold for fashion than me. Here is a sampling of house pants found in my own drawers.

1. Yellow Scrub pants. Pros: Scrubs are super comfortable. Cons: Yellow color means they are see through at times. Be careful.

2. Flower pants. Pros: Actually cute. Cons: So thin that they seem to make my legs even colder than they were before said pants.

3. Stripes. Pros: A shorter cut for those terrible days you don't know whether you want to wear shorts or pants. The perfect compromise. Cons: The only thing that can make house pants more ridiculous are stripes.

4. Gray fleece. Pros: Perfect for the winter. I was wearing them at the time of the house pants photo shoot. I didn't photograph my head so as not to scare anyone with my morning hair. Cons: Major flood pants.

I once attempted to wear house pants as actual pants. The only thing that stopped me was Chin-Hwa, who lovingly asked me why I was wearing those house pants outside. Thanks to him, I avoided that fashion nightmare.

Christmas Festivities!

Here are some pictures from our second Christmas in Korea. Click on the slideshow to see bigger copies of the pictures and to see the captions, which are hilarious, if I do say so myself.

A Letter to Fans of Jackie's Blog.

Dear Friends and Family,

On this lovely, "Jackie's Birthday"-Day, I, Chin-Hwa (her loving, smart, articulate, suave, handsome, athletic.... I could go on... hubby), have decided to write as a privileged guest blogger. And no, I did not have to ask Jackie's permission in order to write this. I simply snooped around the internet until I could find a way to hack into my wife's blogger account. If you truly love somebody, you will find a way to pry your way into EVERY crevice of your loved one's private life. Otherwise, you're just not trying.

Anyway, I am "ghost-blogging" today because it is my lovelypants' birthday (we have lots of cutesy-wootsy monikers for each other, perhaps on a later blog post....). At first, I came on this blog to do what I always love to do: brag about myself. I wanted to write how I am so interesting, mysterious, intriguing, and most of all.... modest. But alas, faithful blog readers, I will have control the urge to reveal how great I am. Instead, I guess I will use this time to write how great Jackie is. If you get bored while reading the rest of this, I can't say that I blame you.

First, all the goodies about my honeybuns is already known. She's smart, funny, beautiful, helpful, witty, and a semi-competent card player (what more could a husband ask for?). However, the thing that I like most about her is that she really is not afraid to embarrass herself. And she has had PLENTY of opportunities to blunder, and then try to act smooth ("What? Me? Stumble? Never!"). Farting in public. Butchering the Korean language in front of my relatives. Getting completely lost... in Omaha. And being honest about it... Priceless.

So please. All you friends and family reading this blog (and not posting comments, shame on you). Don't be modest. Write something. I won't judge. We all can't be Shakespeare or Alice Walker. Write ANYTHING. You can write pleasant niceties such as, "Happy Birthday," or, "We love you." But lets share the goodies. Let's share stories. Let's share stories such as the one where a 5 year-old Jackie poops into a toilet... you know... the one's ON DISPLAY in a hardware store. Let's share and really show Jackie how much you care, and how much we love Jackie. Because nothing says, "Love," like minor humiliation.

With love (and a little schaudenfreude),

Chin-Hwa (her husband who has never been embarrassed in his life, but is about to get in to DEEP trouble after his honeymuffins finds out about this post).

Merry Birthday!

Christmas Birthday, or Merry Birthday if you prefer, has always been my favorite holiday for seemingly obvious reasons. Family + cookies + birthday cake = ridiculously awesome. This year is no exception, but Christmas Birthday does take on a bit of a different flavor when I'm away from home. There is something about Omaha during the holidays that is nothing short of magical, and until last year, I had never been away.

I sit and try to tell myself this will be my only chance to have a quiet Christmas, but I miss having Aunt Kathy steal my Christmas gift or Aunt Karen making up a mix drink to show off her new martini shaker. I miss watching the family try to play catchphrase (and fail, unless they are on my team, in which case they win!). I miss Grandma Joan yelling at us to get out of the kitchen. I miss having a birthday cake in the middle of the Christmas spread. Or making cookies with Samantha, only to find that we are out of sugar. So even though I am a little early, for everyone who is at home this Christmas Birthday, know that I miss you! And try to lay off the eggnog, no?

Santa was saved on this day in Korea

I have done nothing but further my students' idea that all holidays celebrated in the U.S. are centered around candy. I decided to get a little Catholic on them and teach them about St. Nicholas Day, mostly so I could put candy in their shoes. (I knew that would creep them out, and sure enough, some of them said they thought it was gross to put candy in dirty shoes, (the candy was wrapped and put in a plastic bag and this complaint remained) but I still saw them eating it before they left...) I was also able to squeeze in the fact that only good students would get a gift from St. Nicholas, and this made them more attentive than usual.

WARNING: The remaining section of this blog post contains some big kid materials which may not be suited to younger readers!!! Duly noted?

Typically, I would explain St. Nicholas as "real" Santa. However, I did not want to place any of my students in a crisis of Santa faith. I mean, how could there be two "real" Santas? I also had little desire to attempt to explain this to second language learners if they should want to delve into existential issues of the being of two Mr. Clauses. Therefore, I elected to go with the more cryptic message.

I told them that St. Nicholas looked like Santa, acted like Santa, and was the basis for the name Santa without leading them to the obvious conclusion that he must have been the basis for the entire fabricated Santa world.

I also elected to leave out St. Nicholas's sidekick, who was literally called "Black Pete", a man that followed St. Nicholas around and kidnapped all of the bad children from their parents. Was that supposed to teach them a lesson? How are the bad children meant to improve upon their mistakes? Were they issued some sort of warning in June or July informing them of their upcoming kidnapping should they refuse to turn their temper tantrums around? I see a lot of holes in this legend.

My students seemed to enjoy the day of chocolate-y goodness and most managed to leave before asking too many questions . . . Merry Christmas and Happy St. Nicholas Day, students! From Santa . . . cough, I mean, St. Nicholas!